My Walk to Emmaus

Why do I not realize

that you are walking right beside me

I make attempts to sympathize

with what you've passionately done for me

But my cries usually turn to vanity

and reflect the foolishness within me

I know I am slow of heart

but please don't depart! Please don't depart!

You are constantly teaching me

Am I listening? Am I listening?

Why are my eyes kept from recognizing

but my heart is burning within me?

Please, start again with Moses and move to the prophets

Illuminate the essence of your glory and teach me of your suffering

For within me my heart is still burning

and I am learning to embrace this journey

I am listening, I am listening

He is Risen...

Hello All,

How good it is to know that our King is alive! Having devotional posts during Holy Week has been a lot of fun. My personal apologies for not being able to keep up with this project as well as I would have liked! Nonetheless, I hope all the posts by Nick and myself found you well.

My challenge to all of Jesus' disciples: Yes it is Spring, and yes, it is Easter - but are you able to find 'new life' in your own life? How do you persistently embrace the Easter story for your spiritual journey?

If you get a chance - please take the time to read the psalms posted below!

Christ has Died, Christ is Risen, Christ will Come Again!

Amen

Sunday (Easter)

In rejoicing we celebrate Jesus' rise from death at the empty tomb. How glad we are at our king's return! 

Here are some excerpts from some Psalms which I think speak to the grateful heart. Meditate Upon them today with a mindset of graciousness and thankfulness.

Psalm 119:33-40  (New American Standard Version)

33 Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes,
And I shall observe it to the end. 
34 Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law
And keep it with all my heart. 
35 Make me walk in the path of Your commandments,
For I delight in it. 
36 Incline my heart to Your testimonies
And not to dishonest gain. 
37 Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity,
And revive me in Your ways. 
38 Establish Your word to Your servant,
As that which produces reverence for You. 
39 Turn away my reproach which I dread,
For Your ordinances are good. 
40 Behold, I long for Your precepts;
Revive me through Your righteousness.

Psalm 86:10-17  (New American Standard Version)

10 For You are great and do wondrous deeds;
You alone are God. 
11 Teach me Your way, O LORD;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name. 
12 I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And will glorify Your name forever. 
13 For Your lovingkindness toward me is great,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol. 
14 O God, arrogant men have risen up against me,
And a band of violent men have sought my life,
And they have not set You before them. 
15 But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth. 
16 Turn to me, and be gracious to me;
Oh grant Your strength to Your servant,
And save the son of Your handmaid. 
17 Show me a sign for good,
That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed,
Because You, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Psalm 118:22-29 (New American Standard Version)

22 The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief corner stone. 
23 This is the LORD’S doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes. 
24 This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it. 
25 O LORD, do save, we beseech You;
O LORD, we beseech You, do send prosperity! 
26 Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the LORD;
We have blessed you from the house of the LORD. 
27 The LORD is God, and He has given us light;
Bind the festival sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar. 
28 You are my God, and I give thanks to You;
You are my God, I extol You. 
29 Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

Centering Prayer - Friday

Dear Lord,

I cry, You answer. 

You cried, no answer.

You left everything that we held dear for a gruesome death.

I could never sacrifice as You did, I love life too much.

Could Your actions be any louder?

Have I silently left You on Your cross?

God, I have abandoned You.

You only want me to do as You taught and here I am doing the opposite.

You told us to care for the poor.

But when You became poor we became greedy.

You told us to care for the persecuted.

But when You became persecuted we became persecutors.

You told us to care for the thirsty.

But when You became thirsty we became cruel.

You told us to care for the lonely.

But when You became lonely we mocked you louder.

Have I become blind to what You want me to see, LORD?

I pray I can be crucified and become as You.

Amen

Centering Prayer - Preparation Day

Dear God

We remember our heritage and give thanks.

Praise to You for promises long kept!

I reminisce of my past promises to You and wince.

Your grace is tangible in how You stay by me after so many lies.

How meek and lowly I feel next to You.

Your presence is awesome.

I will look for ways to be as you in my life, LORD.

So much can be done for You with me.

Amen

Holy Week - Wednesday

Mark 12.41-44 (NRSV)

41 He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. ⁴²A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny.⁴³Then he called his disciples and said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. ⁴⁴For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.’

We can interpret this story in many ways and apply it to many situations. But, since this story was told by Jesus in Jerusalem during his last week - why not interpret it through the lens of sacrifice?

Jesus did not just give what was convenient for him to give - He gave everything! He asked his disciples and asks us to also give all that we are to the way of the Kingdom. When we commit our lives to serving Christ, we are encouraged to make sacrifices for the benefit of the Church and its work for the Kingdom. This is not saying that we must be willing to "die" for this cause (although scripture tells us that some things in our lives that do not honor God must symbollically "die"), but when we "give up our lives" to Christ we are choosing to "LIVE" for this cause. Jesus died so we could have life! So how will you live in response?

As the story above clearly tells us, our sacrifices are not ever measured by how much we give, but rather how much it costs us. What do we need to give up in order to serve better the cause of Christ of which we have willingly signed up for?

Centering Prayer - Wednesday

Dear God

You called to me and I came.

Upon Your bidding I dropped my nets and followed you.

Here upon the streets of our city you ask of me.

A favor you require of me among our people.

The choice weighs in my mind despite my clear conscience.

Your request is what I want to do but my peers are watching, LORD

What I choose to do will be judged by all here.

I will be placed under scrutiny by those we so disagree with.

The weight of their glances are heavy upon my shoulders, but so is Your hand.

I buckle under what should be such an easy choice.

LORD, for you I will give anything because for me you gave everything.

Ask of me and I will do it for I asked not of You and You gave.

Amen

Centering Prayer - Tuesday

Dear God,

How I have misrepresented You to so many!

Even other Christians get the wrong ideas about You when they see me!

You cannot be glad when I go back on what I know is right.

You must show displeasure at my hypocritical ways.

Lord, how can I live wholly and completely for You?

God I ask to understand Your ways of oneness.

Brokenness is exhibited in everyone, Lord.

No one is exempt from sin beneath You, Oh God.

Can we save ourselves from ourselves?

Is it possible for the fish to escape the water?

Oh God, we fall on our knees before You to beg forgiveness.

We give our all to Your kingdom in hope of reconciliation, Lord.

Amen.

What Jesus did on Monday

If you want to follow along with Jesus on his last week, according to Mark 11, on Monday he cursed the fig tree and overturned the money changer's tables in the temple. You can read these stories in Mark 11.12-19.

Peace,

~Andy

Holy Week - Monday

Jesus was in Jerusalem to celebrate passover on Sunday, a holiday commemorating the LORD, who was to kill all first born children, "passing over" the Israelite homes when they put sacrificed lambs blood across their door posts (this story can be read in Exodus 12). This was the final event that would move the Israelites into exile from egypt, and ultimately set them free from slavery.

Jesus enters Jerusalem like thousands of others this week - for the passover holiday. In remembrance of the freedom that was sparked by the passing over, each family (if they could afford to do so) would sacrifice a lamb in the temple to God. We know that Jesus came for another purpose, however. He came not to sacrifice a lamb, but to be sacrificed himself as "the Lamb of God" (as John refers to him).

The same message is clear though: the blood of the sacrificed lamb will save you and set you free.

Jesus in John 12 speaks about his own death:

27 ‘Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—“Father, save me from this hour”? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour.²⁸Father, glorify your name.’ Then a voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’

I believe the question needs to prevalent on all disciples minds: What has enslaved you?

Insecurity and inadequacy? Greed or lust? Impatience and unfaithfulness? Selfishness and the needing to always get our way? The reluctancy to trust your creator?

We all can fall so easily into wicked hands of our adversaries. And they will enslave us if given the chance. But the Lamb is being prepared for sacrifice - to set us all free.

Are you, right now, preparing your life for the gift of freedom offered to you?

Psalm 142 (NRSV)

With my voice I cry to the Lord;
with my voice I make supplication to the Lord.
²I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
³When my spirit is faint,
you know my way.

In the path where I walk
they have hidden a trap for me.
⁴Look on my right hand and see—
there is no one who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
no one cares for me.

⁵I cry to you, O Lord;
I say, ‘You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.’
⁶Give heed to my cry,
for I am brought very low.

Save me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me.
⁷Bring me out of prison,
so that I may give thanks to your name.
The righteous will surround me,
for you will deal bountifully with me.

Centering Prayer - Monday

Dear God,

Selfishness runs rampart in my life.

Everyday I am overrun in vanity.

How I love to love my friends.

Token love for token love is my life.

God, I am sick of living for me.

I retch at the thought of staying this way.

Lead me to a cross where I can be freed from myself.

Lord, take me to a place where I can throw away my Narcissism.

In your endless love You take pity on the sinner.

Have mercy upon me, Oh God, and free me from myself.

I am lost in this world or worry and regret.

I cannot find a way out of the materialism of society.

You alone are my salvation.

You alone are the Living God.

The only King is you, God.

No person on this earth can overshadow You.

My worries of the day are minuscule in Your sight, Oh Lord.

You are bigger than my problems of want.

Amen.

Holy Week - Palm Sunday

The people shouted,

Hosanna!

Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!

Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David!

Hosanna in the highest heaven (Mark 11.9,10)!

Hosanna literally means "save now" and is cry out to God deeply rooted in feelings of brokenness. But, only those who cry Hosanna are ones who feel a need for saving. The crowds following Jesus inside Jerusalem were ready to be saved, and they believed Jesus was going to save them as he symbolically claimed himself as King riding into Jerusalem.

One problem: Jesus was ready to save them as well, but was not the kind of saviour his followers were expecting. The Kingdom of Jesus was very different from David's, but this was the Kingdom he was inviting all to be a part of.

The power of Jesus' Kingdom is made perfect through weakness. Its presence is only found through sacrifice. It's retaliation is nothing but love. Its security is its vulnerability. Its people's lives are broken but hopeful. Their hearts are filled with love to be poured out on others. Their lives smell of the humility that others find too disgusting to even take a whiff of.

And there are adversaries to this Kingdom. These enemies, however, can't be seen. Their goal: to keep you from singing Hosanna! at the top of your lungs each day.

The Disciple sings when the enemy surrounds:

Psalm 56 (NRSV)

¹Be gracious to me, O God, for people trample on me;
all day long foes oppress me;
²my enemies trample on me all day long,
for many fight against me.
O Most High, ³when I am afraid,

^{I put my trust in you.}

⁸You have kept count of my tossings (wanderings);
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your record?
⁹Then my enemies will retreat
on the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me.
¹⁰In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise,

HOSANNA!

So where are you? Are you yelling desperately Hosanna this week? If not, why is your heart blind? If yes, are you expecting the Kingdom of God, or the Kingdom of (you). Are you ready to lay down all that Christ asks you to relinquish in order to be part of His Kingdom? Are you ready to lay your crown before at His feet?

To become holy we need humility and prayer. Jesus taught us how to pray, and He also told us to learn from Him to be meek and humble of heart. Both humility and prayer grow from an ear, mind, and tongue that have lived in silence with God, for in the silence of the heart God speaks. ~Mother Theresa, In the Heart of the World, 1997, pp 97-98)

Your saviour is coming...

Hosanna

Centering Prayer - Palm Sunday (Passion Sunday)

Dear God,

You come into our city as crowned king of David, oh LORD.

Fulfilling our past prophecies, You enter our home.

No more need we search for sovreignity amongst the wicked, oh LORD.

Because of You, we no longer have to make kings of ourselves.

Our hearts burst with joy and cheer with You, oh LORD.

May You stay amongst us so we praise always.

All Glory Laud and Honour to You,

The All-Worthy King of Kings

Amen.

Holy Week

Hello very small amount of people who read this blog! It is Holy Week! The time has come for us to put ourselves aside and attempt to refocus our thoughts and lives together as believers, gazing at the brutality of the cross and the power of the resurrection.

Nick W. and I will be posting something to ponder for each day of Holy Week. These are meant to be used as small devotionals to center our selves and humble our lives before the cross.

Peace,

~Andy

Freeform Poem I: Self Identity

This is a piece of art written by a student in my student ministries who has an obvious heart for God's Kingdom to be present in the world around him. I thought I'd share:

finding within us a personal, resolved individual

free from binding

free from fetter

free from allegiance

that individual is to be our identity

our new self

us reborn

each separate and perfect and free and flowing without constraint in the wind now blowing

God made liberty and life

He caused each even to unravel

These deceptions of popularity

of depression

of materialism

of capitalism

of war machines

are nothing but smoke in our eyes

To live in Christ is to be free and live with liberty

to have peace and resound with His love

meed attitude

sweet servitude

submission to the ONE TRUE GOD

to join THE BODY

to be part of something large, immense,

indescribable by ideas, by words, by voice, by picture

God works in mysterious ways

we work as we were made

liberty is not be wasted

liberty is given not

for

television

movies

feasting

sleeping

video games

sports games

mall trips

margarita sips

liberty is given to us

so that we

may present it to

the one

and only

God.

Why Discipline Matters

Disciples of Jesus must practice spiritual discipline. Spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, fasting, and solitude when practiced, do not make us grow spiritually, contrary to popular belief. They're role, however, when practiced is to simply open more doors and avenues for God to start working on our hearts and let God work with us to help us grow. Disciplines do not transform us - God does. Richard Foster wrote in his classic work The Celebration of Discipline that "God has given us the Disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving grace. The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that he can transform us... Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing; they can only get us to the place where something can be done" (7).

Working in ministry, I see too often people who get disillusioned with Church, because they admittedly aren't "getting anything out of it" or aren't finding feelings they used to associate with certain programs, people, or groups of people.

I understand where they are coming from here for sure. But there are obviously major flaws with this kind of association with and expectation of Church.

I believe that spiritual disciplines are the key to the drought of spiritual connection that people are attempting to quench in their lives. This is a difficult subject for many people to understand because spiritual disciplines are a far cry from depending on preachers, programs, and worship leaders to deliver some sort of spiritual euphoria to the people.

Most Christians with any association with the church in their life, no matter how strong or tattered that association is, know the spiritual disciplines (whether they know they know is a different story). However, I believe that disciplines don't get practiced for several reasons:

1) For some Christians, early in their spiritual development, it can be difficult to practice the disciplines and sometimes even more difficult to understand why. If this is you, you should embrace where you are spiritually. Yes, passionately crave the things that are of God and from God, but also embrace where you are in your journey.

Lord, forgive us for ever believing that following you with all we are is not enough. Help us to understand the journey and embrace where you would have us presently reside.

2) Many Christians know them and may practice them at church, but do not place any importance upon them in their lives because, well, simply, they're too apathetic about it to take the time to understand why it matters.

Lord please rid us of apathy, and ignite within us a passion for all things You.

3) Others place a very high importance on disciplines, but in the business of their lives have trouble actually practicing them regularly. Admittedly, I would fall into this category off and on, and unfortunately even though I can admit this, I know I will fall into this again and again.

Lord help us to repent from giving our schedules the status of idol.

4) Some Christians know that spiritual disciplines are important for other people to practice, but they don't see the importance for themselves. I think if many of us are honest, we could find times in our lives where this is us. This is a form of spiritual narcissism, where we are subconsciously convinced that we are simply blessed to be more spiritual or religious than those around us.

Lord help us to not be like the Sadducees.

5) Lastly, I think many evangelical protestants believe that practicing spiritual disciplines are attempting to do "works" and not rely on "faith alone". Unfortunately for people who hold this view, they have a distorted idea of the purpose of spiritual disciplines. They believe that when people practice spiritual disciplines, they are trying to force growth through their own actions - that they are acting just like the Pharisees. This is a common misunderstanding of spiritual disciplines and in fairness, falling into this trap is surely a danger that comes with practicing the disciplines. But, as we discussed in the last blog post, misunderstandings and possible misuse of things associated with Christianity does not render such things irrelevant, unimportant, or wrong.

Lord let us see the good in what you have said is good: restore in us a true understanding of how we seek you and your will.

Disciple translates to student. Students must put in time and effort, especially if they are to teach as well. Disciples practice the disciplines.

I would love to discuss these ideas further, especially if you think I have done the subject injustice. Feel free to contact me at becomingthelast@gmail.com!

Thoughts on Discipleship - Repentance

I am going to start a series of posts on issues prevalent in my own mind regarding discipleship, with this post being the first.

There is no better place to start this discussion than with Jesus' first words coming out of the wilderness: "Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, 'The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent and believe in the good news'" (Mark 1.14-15 NRSV).

Repentance has become a word and concept that I believe many Christians try to avoid these days. I've been there too. I remember several times being on campus when fundamentalist evangelicals would stand in the most populated areas of campus and hold up signs that simply said things like "REPENT OR PERISH" in a dark red paint. Through my observations (this was extremely interesting and entertaining to a Religious Studies student) the students responded in this way:

10% - had religious affiliations other than Christian and depending on how long they've been in America - probably thought the attempt at proselytizing through fear was a bit odd.

70% - laughed awkwardly until they realized this is why they gave up on religion in the first place.

15% - felt a mix of fear and intrigue (mostly freshman who probably grew up in a protestant church attending at least every Christmas and Easter), until they saw they other 70% laughing, then began to feel at ease with the masses and laughed as well.

5% - felt convicted to argue with the evangelizers (which always turned out with unnecessary yelling and regretful tears).

Anyways, I understand why to my generation the word "repent" can often leave a bad taste in our mouths. This proclamation of Jesus has been misused and abused all too often.

But does this mean we ignore the call to repent?

Unfortunately I know that for many the answer is yes. I am finding more and more that those who identify themselves as Christians today, despite bad experiences with church and religion in the past, do not believe that Jesus' call to repent important. I believe this is because what has brought us back to Christ over and over again despite all of the pain, hypocrisy, and judgment that the church can invoke is a radical approach towards grace. But if we are to be followers, we must take all of Jesus seriously and not just the parts that we fit nicely into our grace filled theologies (a healthy approach to repentance should fit!).

To repent means to turn around, or change your mind (which will hopefully in turn then lead to your actions being changed as well). This verse tells us there's more here though: Because the Kingdom of God is at hand and is ready to be entered into here and now, to follow Jesus and commit to living our lives for and with God's will (Kingdom of God = will of God) we must understand what his good news is for our lives and for the world at large. If believe in that message, then we now turn around and change the parts of our lives (starting with our thinking) that are in conflict with God's will and Jesus' good news.

Let us then be Christians that embrace the entire message of Jesus. This means the easy parts and the difficult parts. The parts that we think matter and parts that we think don't. The parts that make us feel loved beyond all measure and the parts that require us to respond to that love. Let us turn around, embrace forgiveness, not ever get bogged down in guilt, and keep pressing towards the goal of living in God's Kingdom here and now.

God's Kingdom is here, working and moving, and you are able to be a part of it and you don't have to be perfect to enter in.

I love what the band Psalters have to say about this journey on their myspace page - I think its the most beautiful representation of what it means to live in Jesus' message of God's Kingdom:

We are on the road after our First Love, the refugee King....for whom we pledge our only allegiance. It's not only us...we're just the banner wavers of a little army out here just beyond your city walls. You can come along if you're a miserable wretch....but unfortunately there is not enough room for the generally good people. Don't fret. You wouldn't like this road....it's dirty (and greasy). I must tell you this much however.........i can't see much of anything behind those gates of yours and there is not much of a breeze to feel....out here it hurts....outside the gates .........but i can feel and i can see ... a little better. outside there is a Pillar of Fire.

The genuine disciple lives and breathes repentance and forgiveness. Its never safe and always will hurt to daily regurgitate the darkness and emptiness that is constantly pervading our lives. But if you do, you'll see a bit more clearly who you truly are and where your life fits in God's universe.

Repent, and believe the good news.